Why wonder?

There’s a group’s friendster account, and a member wonders who’s behind that account, that he spent an effort to put one.

My parents watching the magical fountain show here in Singapore didn’t marvel on how magnificently in sync the lights, water, sound and fire were – rather their inquisitive mind focused on how the team behind it does that.

My friend and I sitting on a ferry going to manila is in awe watching the movements of the wave and how the law of physics perfectly fits in to such a common sight.

There are those people who can’t help but look on things from a different perspective. That makes them a bit different from the mainstream, who are so engulf with the commonality of things around us that they doesn’t care anymore the whys and hows of the universe. This makes those common things a bit special – that in fact, its not that common at all, it’s complexity is far beyond what our superficial observation can comprehend.

Life is like that. At one glance, it is nothing but a cycle of birth and death. All was born naked, and so will leave this world empty handed. In between, there might be problems and encouragement. But all the same, life will puff off like a vapor.

We do live a borrowed life. It’s not ours. And what will matter in the end is not how we lived on this earth, rather on where will we spend eternity (i can hear you saying, "oh, there you are again!" hehehe) But eternity is real. Where will we wake up after we die, certainly matters. There’s no bridge between heaven and hell, this two eternal places are eternally separated. Cetainly, there’s no crossing in the after life.

Why i am here? Why i have life? Why do I breathe? Why I have 70 years to live if it was meant for nothing? Why I have a wonderful and so complex body system if it was meant to be destroyed after all?

The Bible is certain that ALL men (yes, including me) have sinned. The Bible is also certain that because sin can only be paid by death (because God is so holy), all men are therefore forever condemned in hell. No amount of good works can ever undone the wrong we’ve done. Deep within, we are rotten by sin. Oh how hard it is to accept the fact that we don’t have the capacity to do good. We do still cheat, we do still lie. We do still kill people thru character assassination.

But the same Bible who never lie, told us that God’s only Son died for our stead. Yes, the death penalty requirement has been satisfied at the Cross. We only have to believe. You may ask, is that it? Yes, Man have only to acknowledge the sacrifice of Jesus and he can enter heaven for eternity.

Others find it to simple and easy. But am telling you, unless God would enable you to believe, you won’t believe. If by chance you find yourself believing, that’s because you’re convicted of Sin and God worked in you.

  Life is indeed too short. Where will you spend eternity? I’ve made my choice; I hope you’ll make yours. E-mail me: rteja79@yahoo.com

Trust

Trust and confidence are sometimes used synonymously. But a second look of the terms with the corresponding application to our daily life, one can see a very thin dividing line between the two. The word TRUST is so subtle that, in sociology, it is always a subject of passionate debate.

Trust is a choice, a voluntary action to place resources (physical, financial, intellectual, or temporal) at the disposal of the trustee with no real commitment from the trustee. Therefore, it can’t be measured. It comes from within. It’s a decision you have to make. It is an internal state.

Confidence, on the other hand, is measurable. It measures up the ability of one person to perform. I could trust my brother with low level of confidence that he could meet up my expectations. I could even trust him with no confidence at all. Trust comes off from me automatically to people I care. It’s not that I believe they won’t fail. But that, I believe they could fail and yet they would remain honest to tell me they’ve failed so as to still have my trust. I may lose my confidence towards them, yes. I may doubt their capacity and ability to perform their commitment. But as long as they will not lie or withhold vital information from me, they still have my trust.

 

Trust is anchored mainly on character, not on ability. You only have to be true. You don’t have to conceal information to avoid conflict. You don’t have to lie to look good. You don’t want to tell the world you don’t need people when deep within, you crave for them. A perfect person is a myth. Intimacy begins when you stop pretending to be perfect and start being real with your friends, family or your partner. Don’t be afraid to show off your weakness and wrongs. To believe that affection would last and harmony would stay by avoiding conflicts is just one of the many self-destructive myths.

   

I recently observed that it seems like I have a short term memory problem. But I have a very good long term memory that could even go into details. In building relationships, trust is very essential to me. You don’t have to be perfect – and that includes all aspect of your life. You don’t have to pretend. It’s easier for me to embrace people’s admitted wrongs – no matter how worse – than accepting later that you defrauded me. I often tell my friends and new-found friends that they might find me foolish in choosing people at times, but definitely am not stupid.

 

I don’t do background check, and certainly what you were doesn’t matter to me. But what you are as time goes by, from the moment I’ve accepted you as a friend, are pieces of puzzle that eventually would put your position in my life the real you.

 

You are either real or a fraud. You can be assured that what you say will be taken as true as it is from day one, that’s trust. But if you’re a fraud, be warned, for whatever you say doesn’t leave off easily as it comes in. It will stay there and will be a building block of your own integrity and will surely find you out.

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone will I glory

Though I could pride myself in battles won

For I’ve been blessed beyond measure

And by His strength alone I’ll overcome

Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands

But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone do I glory

For only by His grace I am redeemed

For only His tender mercy

Could reach beyond my weakness to my need

And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more

And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord.

       

In Christ alone, I place my trust

And find my glory in the power of the cross

In every victory, let it be said of me

My source of strength, my source of hope

Is Christ alone.

      

It’s been more than ten years and am still enjoying the lyrics of this song. Every time i ponder on the things that happened in my life, i can confess nothing but God’s grace. God’s grace, that is greater than all my sins. Grace. Grace. Grace so really rich and free.

      

I’ve fought a lot of battle. And in a lot of times am tempted to display the victories as mine. And in the same number of times am reminded that it was not my strength after all. For in the midst of the battle, i take my refuge in prayer.

I could measure myself with the great things this world could offer. I could place myself at the throne of the honored. I could stand on top of the world and shout the sufferings i’ve been through and the sacrifices i have made. Yet in the greater things that God had accomplished in my life, those worldly trophies are nothing, literally nothing.

    

He did all for my redemption, when am lost and disoriented.

When am dead and death is still required of me, he died for my stead.

Yeah, just like Paul, i can boast on nothing save the cross.

I was enabled by Christ alone, in Christ alone and through Christ alone.

   

May i will never forget Calvary, until i’ve counted all my gains as loses, and my strength as weakness, to the glory of my Lord.

literally bruised

Nagising akong makulimlim ang paligid.. sabagay ganito naman lagi sa sulok na ito ng islang tinirhan ko, maulan. Kadalasan, sa kwarto lng ako. buong araw.. hanggang madatnan ng gabi, hanggang madatnan ng umaga ulit. Pero kadalasan, sa gitna ng gabi nasa kalye ako.. nagpapadyak-padyak sa 2 months old bicycle ko.. Weird? kasi sa gabi alang tao, wala akong masasagasaan if ever… at siyempre, walang makakakita pag tumumbling man ako hehehe…. sa araw naman, i usually use my bike going to MRT station or Bus station instead of using the bus, kasi nga, sayang din naman yung P20 pesos per trip… pag maipon yun, aba’y may kalakihan din yun… so yun yung routine ko… eto pa pala isa, pag pumunta ng swimming pool.. pag pakiramdam ko kinakalawang na mga buto-buto ko, i go to the pool.

So yesterday after lunch, katatapos lng din ng ulan, i prepared my gear. nakapack na yung goggle, pambanlaw and secret hehehe… (pang-asar lng po)

Eto na, diretso na tayo sa pag dive ko sa daan. For what reason na pumagilid ako at sumemplang sa butas ng drainage sa gilid ng daan(Read: indi marunong mag bike). Hehehe… syempre sabay tayo, bawi ng porma… nakasunod kasi sa akin ay ale na nakapayong na naka bike, o di ba diyahe? hehehe i was bruised on my hand at anssaakiitt ng kamay ko huhuhu… gusto ko nga umiyak right there and then e.. try lng kung kakayanin… pero tiningnan ko muna yung ale kung tatawa sa stunts ko.. syempre, dalawa lng kami, so nahiya siguro hehehe.. di siya tumawa.. tuloy-tuloy lng siya.. ewan ko kung tumawa siya pagdating sa dulo… ako, ayun tulak ang bike pauwi waahhuhuhuhu.. sakit pa rin…

Syempre ayun nasabon ng nanay at ng misis heheehe… pero sakit pa rin….

But in some ways, am happy.. i feel like a child again, bruised from play at sumbong sa nanay, of course i don’t know no matter how i tried, alang luha na lumabas…hehehe sayang… important element pa naman ang iyak, di ba? Masarap masaktan, natututo kang mag-alala ng mga tao, ng nakaraan, ng pagkatao mo. You will realize that
pain respects no person. And all people are equal when it comes to pain. I wash my hand with soap and water and later with rubbing alcohol, things i will never do nung bata ako. But this time, i have to validate my claim that i conquered my fear and so i did the same.

Night came, sked ko sa work. I have to go. Zero OT kami ngayon, sa dami ng liabilities ko, kailangan mag tiis… Ang hirap, both hands kasi ang affected. Ansakit. So you can imagine pano ako nag suot ng bunny suit ko, at paano ako bumukas ng pinto. I feel so helpless yet have enough strength para magawa yung mga bagay na yun, in the midst of pain. Mahirap, kasi mag isa lng ako. I can hardly read and reply an sms. pati sa drinking fountain, i have to push it with both hands at di kaya ng isa lng.

Masarap. I pray and pray for the Lord to heal my hands. Masarap maglambing sa Panginoon. Masarap masaktan at tumawag sa Panginoon. Weird? probably. But there are relationships that can’t be appreciated by anyone except by the persons involved.

Peace in the midst of pain

At 7:30am today, the 14^th
of September 2006, our little prince rested in the loving arms of the Father.
Baby Kent was born with Down syndrome with some internal organs
complication. He was born August 11^th
of this year to my younger sister. He was loved and well-taken care of, to the
point that his 2-year old brother always complaining of being neglected because
of him. But on about the same time
today, BJ woke-up from his sleep and shouted, “Manghod ko diin? (Where’s my
younger brother?}”, then got back to
sleep for another hour, probably feeling the lose at his very young age.

Yet in all of these things, I am
grateful to God the way my sister viewed the situation. She willingly submitted
to the will of the Father. In the midst of pain, I can sense peace within her.
She’s still grateful to God for allowing her to spend time with her son, even
if it was just for a month. She feels satisfied of the love and care she
extended to Kent. She’s still happy that God has been gracious to make her
enjoy the company of his baby even for a while. During the painful hours before
my nephew gave up his breath, she and her husband was on the bedside praying
for God’s will for them. She’s not praying what she wants, but for God’s
perfect plan to be executed right there and then.

I can’t see what’s good in this
situation except that what my sis has observed – to remain grateful of the time
she was able to express her motherly love to his son. I’m glad too, that I was
able to hold that wonderful gift, even for a while. I’m happy that I was able
to kiss him and feel him near me before he was taken back.

I know that in God’s wisdom, this
remain a good thing for us. Nothing could be better. We might not understand right now, but we trust Him to bring us
through with this.

To baby Kent: I know we’ll be
seeing each other anyway when we reach there. We do love you.

Encounter with God

Much has been said and more Christians have testified on this subject.

A thousand years ago, the world’s population was estimated to be around 250 million. A hundred years ago, it was put at around a billion and is now at a whooping 6 billion people and still growing at an exponential rate. Religion goes with the growth with an estimated 30,000 sects/denomination in Christianity alone. There is only one God, the God who created and rules the universe. He is the same One God who revealed himself in the scriptures, the same God who talked to Abraham, Moses and Jacob. He remains the same God today who never changes.

Reading the news and looking around, we can see and hear people claiming their own personal encounters. While others believe that they really did, some are doubtful on the inside as exactly the opposite of what comes out from their lips. We confess an encounter with God because we don’t want to be left out from our peers. We confess an encounter with God, because of the fear of being alone; we want to be motivated by this confession. We confess of the same encounter to feel good. No one wants to be far from the Lord’s side anyway.

But is it really that common and easy? Are the numbers that claims such supernatural experience, true?

Seek ye the Lord while He may be found, call ye upon him while He is near.  Let the wicked forsake His way, and the unrighteous man His thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

Isa 55:6-7

Paul was blinded for a moment when he encountered Jesus. Job conversed with God out of the whirlwind. Moses beheld God’s glory in a burning bush. These are real encounters. Yet the physical wonder that was associated with these encounters are in no way that can describe the marvel of spiritual encounter they’ve experienced in God. These heroes of faith have thirst within them to meet God. They are athirst for God, and they will not be satisfied till they have drunk deep at the Fountain of Living Water.

Christians of today are so tied up with the world, compromising the spiritual one. They try to live on both worlds, crossing back and forth whenever he wants – dividing his personhood as he sees it fit. We’ve been freed at the cross, yet we enslaved ourselves with the same rituals and traditions that are of no value to God. Some were able to get off from tradition, but is getting ensnared again by too much of fundamentalism. There’s no dual citizenship in Christianity. The old self has been buried and so you have to live out the new one.

A true encounter with God is shown by growing thirst to live out christlikeness. The more he grows spiritually, the farther he feels from being holy. His life must be an extension of his prayer. It should embody his heart’s desire. He continuously empties himself of selfish desire, that God’s grace will fill him out. He has this yearning of a life that ascends to God like sweet incense, where all the things he does is an act of worship.

`I beseech Thee so for to cleanse the intent of mine heart with the unspeakable gift of Thy grace, that I may perfectly love Thee and worthily praise Thee.‘

word play

mayabang daw ako hahaha… gusto ko sabihing hindi… pero di mo naman kasi nakikita kung nag-aasal yabang ka na e, kaya ok lng… observation well taken hehehe… pero teka, pabawi… HUMBLE ako no… (wahehe.. nagyabang pa din)

mataas daw tingin ko sa sarili ko? parang napaka-ironic, kasi nga galit ako sa mga taong mapagmataas e wehehehe…. pero pwede ring tama, kasi nga "galit yung magnanakaw sa kapwa niya magnanakaw" di ba? hmn.. di kaya napapansin nila kasi nga nasasapawan ko sila sa ganung ugali? wehehehe joke!

ayan, benefit of a doubt na yan… walang magsasabi na bias ako sa sarili ko ha *winks* pero sincere naman ako ng sinabi ko sa profile ko that am "in a seryus quest of humility" ha.. *ghee!

pero napapansin ko, kung may nagsasabi man ng ganito sa akin, sila yung mga taong nakilala ko lng lately, o yung mga taong di ako ganun ka kilala o nakasama ng matagal. Pwedeng ganun nga ako, o pwedeng nagbago lng ako… sabagay, may isang kakilala ko na dati na nagsabing nagbago nga ako… hahaha, mahirap to.. may nangyayari sa akin na tipong di ko napapansin.

Stubborn – me? oo… aminado ako dito… mahirap kasi mag-isip ng position sa buhay tapos biglang dadating ang sino-sino at utusan kang gumanito o gumanun, e kung wala kang sariling disposisyon sa buhay, pwedeng susunod-sunod ka na lng.. ok lng. Pero kung nagpawis ka na ng dugo (exagg) tapos sabihan ka ng bagay na tipong di pinag-isipan o malamang napag-isipan mo na, di ba kakaloko? wahehehe… kung pinaghirapan mong maabot yung prinsipyo mo sa buhay, aba’y maghirap din sila ng konti para masira yun ha hrhrhr…

meron ding mga mabilis mag react sa terms na ginagamit ko… hehehe… eto, tandaan niyo, words are just vehicles of thought. there’s no absolute meaning sa mga word. teka, napaparami ang english…hehehe.. tagalog lng dapat ang entry na to a.

pero balik tayo sa masamang ugali ko. hinihiwalay ko ang tao sa gawa. vocal and bold ako sa action, pero hindi ibig sabihin niyan na am judging the person na. limitado lng ang opinion ko sa nakikita ko. at hindi ako nag-aasume ng kabaitan para lng mabawi yung kalokohan. at sa mga terms na ginagamit ko, kung nagiging offensive man ang dating, iyun ay dahil sa nakasanayan mo ng pag-iisip in relation sa salitang iyon, at di dahil ganun din ang nasa isip ko nung sinulat ko yun.

pero teka, pwede ngang mayabang ako… hmnn, pero pwede ring indi e… maliban na lng kung ikaw yung taong nagpapanggap na magaling kahit hindi wehehehe… oo, ayaw ko ng ganun.. at kahit minsan nagagawa ko rin, pero iniiwasan ko naman talagang maging ganun. pramis!

siguro mayabang dating ko pag yung ipinipilit mong idea ay alam ko, o alam kong di mo alam *toink! hrhrhr…

pero pag di mo alam, tapos di mo ikinakahiyang di mo alam, at di ka nagpapanggap na ma-alam ka, click tayo… sasabay ako sa’yong matuto… hehehe…

hmnn.. indi ako mabait? pwede…

oo nga pala, walang word na objective. WAHAHAHAHA!

remembering the roots

Rags to riches, from bare hand to
silver spoon. Some calls it success stories attributing to hardwork and
perseverance; others merely ascribe it to luck. It could be a success in
profession, business or an elegant happy life. But what you have become never
nullifies what you were before.

We surely have known someone
devoured by fame and riches. In a smaller scale, there are those who feel exceptional
to themselves that they thought everybody have owed them an attention, to say
the least.

In my province, I’ve wondered
then what manila and countries abroad have, that all the folks that came back
from them can no longer speak in our native tongue. They appear grandiose and pompous. They’ve changed.

While i believe that culture
outside the sphere of your native community shapes and refine your attitude and
behaviour, but in no way that it should spoil your character. Knowledge should
bring wisdom, not arrogance. You welcome changes and improve yourself as you
sees it fit, but you shouldn’t deny yourself of your roots and the character
you have been shaped of – that responsibly brought out who you are.

On a greater extent, the same
applies to Filipinos abroad. It’s sad to experience discrimination from your
fellow kababayan. Blue collared workers usually feel this. An unwritten caste
system exists within the hearts of swanky pinoys.

We have to remember that what we
have acquired in life are just temporary and will surely fade out through time.
Who we are, lasts in the heart of the people we loved and cared for. It is
priceless and riches that never run out.

Fame and riches are hollow
without integrity and honor.

update1

The last 24hrs was like hell to me. Bumagyo kasi, lumindol at kumidlat. Nagka-acid rain pa ata. But just this afternoon, My baby sms me an update ’bout the gift God  is wrapping for us. It simply brightens up everything. He’s there, curling on one corner. Silent, but moves a bit. Am so excited and veerryy  happy…

father’s day part 2

It’s father’s day again. I send something for my pa last sunday, so he celebrated it a week early. diyahe nga e hehehe… But i know he’s enjoying it. I know also that he’s taking slowly the wine i sent as a gift for him. hehehe…  20 days after, he is not finish with it yet. it’s not because he can not. but because he find it too special coming from me that he’s taking it real slow. See? My father loves me very much wehehehe.

Father’s day. This year’s father’s day is quite special for me. The feeling is high when you know that somewhere, a new heart closely knitted to you is beating. God is wrapping a gift for you.

I’m excited to witness the day when God will unwrap the same gift before me. I thank the Lord that he chooses a loving, charming, wonderful and most beautiful woman – whom i thought was only a dream – to be the bearer of that gift. 

From this day i will live expectant of that gift, the gift of fatherhood.