Bigger Fish

There’s always a bigger fish. So don’t consider yourself big enough, you’ll never be.

Discrimination is real. Physical attributes do matter. Intellectual capacity counts. IQ level, social status, money, fashion… all of this and a lot more commands as to who we are in the society.

Seldom do we check the heart. By default, we judge people by how they look, by the degree they holds.

We measure ourselves also by the same standard. We always feel inferior in one way or another. And the only way that comforts us is when we are with some one we believe is lower than us. Our thirst for higher social status is commanded by the society we are in.

This is the mainstream. It’s hard to go against the flow. The only way you can counter it is when you know you’ve got someone bigger. Without confidence and certainty, you will keep on struggling to be on top by going with the flow.

You have to free yourself from this system and throw your confidence on Him who’s bigger than all of this.

I’m with a bigger fish. Bigger than the entire world have.

On Debate, Discussion and Arrogance

I used to do debate during my earlier years in college. It makes me proud to win an argument. I may have the truth or half of it, but I will defend and argue with it, to prove that my position is superior to yours. It doesn’t matter if you hold half of the truth that I held, or you hold a better position. Debate defines the superiority of your position between your argument and that of your opponent. People or witnesses are usually the judges. But if others think you failed and you believed you have fought well, then you are by no “buts” is the real winner by your own rules.
   
Discussion on the other hand (though sometimes being used interchangeably with debate), is the process of exchanging ideas that I believe fruitful to propositions of both side. It examine comments or arguments.  Discussion explores solution without compromising one’s position. I made a point since then to opt for discussion than debate, as far as my consciousness towards the conversation’s atmosphere is concerned. Debates water down your message and exchanging arrogance with arrogance spoils the purpose of examining the argument.
 
Arrogance dominates Debate. Discussion won’t prosper if one or both side exaggerates one’s own worth or importance in an overbearing manner. One have to listen the other and consider the opposing position from the other’s point of view before presenting your own argument. You have to understand how he perceive things. You can never say he’s wrong without understanding first what he really means. Presumption is a dangerous, unethical, unbecoming and an uncalled  attitude.
 
The weakest debater for me are those who can’t stick to the topic and desperately shifts to personal attack to gain grounds. He is a loser by position and is a deadbeat to warrant professional courtesy or civility. Prejudice rules his argument. His thought, action and emotion are filled with excessive pride. Arrogant people are often unable to realize they are not as good as they assume they are or have problems recognizing their own self limitations. Often, arrogant people can be overbearing and try to coerce/force people into doing what they don’t want to do with little regard for the other persons feelings or the groups best interest.
 
There is no absolute position in a human standard, everything is relative. You can’t say a person is an idiot just because he raises a question you thought you understand so well. You can’t say Peter’s theology is stupid as he’d never been to school, or Bill Gates was dumb just because he wasn’t able to finish even his first year in college. You can’t boast you have a higher level of intelligence just because you cannot explain. hehehe 
 
A person confident of his argument remains focused to, and solidly engaged  with, the topic.

Trust

Trust and confidence are sometimes used synonymously. But a second look of the terms with the corresponding application to our daily life, one can see a very thin dividing line between the two. The word TRUST is so subtle that, in sociology, it is always a subject of passionate debate.

Trust is a choice, a voluntary action to place resources (physical, financial, intellectual, or temporal) at the disposal of the trustee with no real commitment from the trustee. Therefore, it can’t be measured. It comes from within. It’s a decision you have to make. It is an internal state.

Confidence, on the other hand, is measurable. It measures up the ability of one person to perform. I could trust my brother with low level of confidence that he could meet up my expectations. I could even trust him with no confidence at all. Trust comes off from me automatically to people I care. It’s not that I believe they won’t fail. But that, I believe they could fail and yet they would remain honest to tell me they’ve failed so as to still have my trust. I may lose my confidence towards them, yes. I may doubt their capacity and ability to perform their commitment. But as long as they will not lie or withhold vital information from me, they still have my trust.

 

Trust is anchored mainly on character, not on ability. You only have to be true. You don’t have to conceal information to avoid conflict. You don’t have to lie to look good. You don’t want to tell the world you don’t need people when deep within, you crave for them. A perfect person is a myth. Intimacy begins when you stop pretending to be perfect and start being real with your friends, family or your partner. Don’t be afraid to show off your weakness and wrongs. To believe that affection would last and harmony would stay by avoiding conflicts is just one of the many self-destructive myths.

   

I recently observed that it seems like I have a short term memory problem. But I have a very good long term memory that could even go into details. In building relationships, trust is very essential to me. You don’t have to be perfect – and that includes all aspect of your life. You don’t have to pretend. It’s easier for me to embrace people’s admitted wrongs – no matter how worse – than accepting later that you defrauded me. I often tell my friends and new-found friends that they might find me foolish in choosing people at times, but definitely am not stupid.

 

I don’t do background check, and certainly what you were doesn’t matter to me. But what you are as time goes by, from the moment I’ve accepted you as a friend, are pieces of puzzle that eventually would put your position in my life the real you.

 

You are either real or a fraud. You can be assured that what you say will be taken as true as it is from day one, that’s trust. But if you’re a fraud, be warned, for whatever you say doesn’t leave off easily as it comes in. It will stay there and will be a building block of your own integrity and will surely find you out.

word play

mayabang daw ako hahaha… gusto ko sabihing hindi… pero di mo naman kasi nakikita kung nag-aasal yabang ka na e, kaya ok lng… observation well taken hehehe… pero teka, pabawi… HUMBLE ako no… (wahehe.. nagyabang pa din)

mataas daw tingin ko sa sarili ko? parang napaka-ironic, kasi nga galit ako sa mga taong mapagmataas e wehehehe…. pero pwede ring tama, kasi nga "galit yung magnanakaw sa kapwa niya magnanakaw" di ba? hmn.. di kaya napapansin nila kasi nga nasasapawan ko sila sa ganung ugali? wehehehe joke!

ayan, benefit of a doubt na yan… walang magsasabi na bias ako sa sarili ko ha *winks* pero sincere naman ako ng sinabi ko sa profile ko that am "in a seryus quest of humility" ha.. *ghee!

pero napapansin ko, kung may nagsasabi man ng ganito sa akin, sila yung mga taong nakilala ko lng lately, o yung mga taong di ako ganun ka kilala o nakasama ng matagal. Pwedeng ganun nga ako, o pwedeng nagbago lng ako… sabagay, may isang kakilala ko na dati na nagsabing nagbago nga ako… hahaha, mahirap to.. may nangyayari sa akin na tipong di ko napapansin.

Stubborn – me? oo… aminado ako dito… mahirap kasi mag-isip ng position sa buhay tapos biglang dadating ang sino-sino at utusan kang gumanito o gumanun, e kung wala kang sariling disposisyon sa buhay, pwedeng susunod-sunod ka na lng.. ok lng. Pero kung nagpawis ka na ng dugo (exagg) tapos sabihan ka ng bagay na tipong di pinag-isipan o malamang napag-isipan mo na, di ba kakaloko? wahehehe… kung pinaghirapan mong maabot yung prinsipyo mo sa buhay, aba’y maghirap din sila ng konti para masira yun ha hrhrhr…

meron ding mga mabilis mag react sa terms na ginagamit ko… hehehe… eto, tandaan niyo, words are just vehicles of thought. there’s no absolute meaning sa mga word. teka, napaparami ang english…hehehe.. tagalog lng dapat ang entry na to a.

pero balik tayo sa masamang ugali ko. hinihiwalay ko ang tao sa gawa. vocal and bold ako sa action, pero hindi ibig sabihin niyan na am judging the person na. limitado lng ang opinion ko sa nakikita ko. at hindi ako nag-aasume ng kabaitan para lng mabawi yung kalokohan. at sa mga terms na ginagamit ko, kung nagiging offensive man ang dating, iyun ay dahil sa nakasanayan mo ng pag-iisip in relation sa salitang iyon, at di dahil ganun din ang nasa isip ko nung sinulat ko yun.

pero teka, pwede ngang mayabang ako… hmnn, pero pwede ring indi e… maliban na lng kung ikaw yung taong nagpapanggap na magaling kahit hindi wehehehe… oo, ayaw ko ng ganun.. at kahit minsan nagagawa ko rin, pero iniiwasan ko naman talagang maging ganun. pramis!

siguro mayabang dating ko pag yung ipinipilit mong idea ay alam ko, o alam kong di mo alam *toink! hrhrhr…

pero pag di mo alam, tapos di mo ikinakahiyang di mo alam, at di ka nagpapanggap na ma-alam ka, click tayo… sasabay ako sa’yong matuto… hehehe…

hmnn.. indi ako mabait? pwede…

oo nga pala, walang word na objective. WAHAHAHAHA!

remembering the roots

Rags to riches, from bare hand to
silver spoon. Some calls it success stories attributing to hardwork and
perseverance; others merely ascribe it to luck. It could be a success in
profession, business or an elegant happy life. But what you have become never
nullifies what you were before.

We surely have known someone
devoured by fame and riches. In a smaller scale, there are those who feel exceptional
to themselves that they thought everybody have owed them an attention, to say
the least.

In my province, I’ve wondered
then what manila and countries abroad have, that all the folks that came back
from them can no longer speak in our native tongue. They appear grandiose and pompous. They’ve changed.

While i believe that culture
outside the sphere of your native community shapes and refine your attitude and
behaviour, but in no way that it should spoil your character. Knowledge should
bring wisdom, not arrogance. You welcome changes and improve yourself as you
sees it fit, but you shouldn’t deny yourself of your roots and the character
you have been shaped of – that responsibly brought out who you are.

On a greater extent, the same
applies to Filipinos abroad. It’s sad to experience discrimination from your
fellow kababayan. Blue collared workers usually feel this. An unwritten caste
system exists within the hearts of swanky pinoys.

We have to remember that what we
have acquired in life are just temporary and will surely fade out through time.
Who we are, lasts in the heart of the people we loved and cared for. It is
priceless and riches that never run out.

Fame and riches are hollow
without integrity and honor.

never let them down

no parent would ever let their
children grow up in the wrong side of life. Even before we were born, people
are looking forward what will be 20 or 40 years from birth. All of us would
agree that hopefully, they would find us great.

Values were infused, environment
was styled, and if possible, they would direct our every step just to safeguard
us from outside influence. Temptation is universal and curiosity is hard to
control. It’s not enough to be willing and sincere. You have to set up your
external defenses and protect yourself from outside attempts and make sure it
won’t reach your will and emotion. Mind and heart is your last line of defense.
Laxity is extremely dangerous. To be
complacent is taking risk. And risk, most of time if not always, spoils your
gain and eventually collapsed in a moment what you have safeguarded for ages.
Honor and integrity is not dispensable. It cannot be regained. You can only go
as far as collecting and connecting the pieces, but you can never restore it
back to the original state.

Every one of us is connected in
many ways. Even the dead still influence the living. It’s how we live our life
that one or two from this planet is building his’. We keep on talking about
people who lived thousands of years ago. And why wouldn’t we? They’ve
accomplished something unique and made some extraordinary decisions that shake
off their era. We connect ourselves to people we really don’t know, except that
we shared with them the same failure (or success). We cry and laugh with
unknown individuals because we felt what they’re feeling for the moment.

As we grow, a number of eyes are
looking at us. Theirs are eyes that don’t speak and never moves. Some eyes are
visible others are not. Others are hostile, while some are warm. It’s a sure
proverb that we cannot please everybody, and sometimes we even reap the frown of
majority. But whatever life we chose, it must be bare out in mind that this
life must be live out to the fullest. To be right always is a costly position.
But nothing comes cheap in a noble desire of doing what is right.

seeing more… seeing deeper

We see people the way we want to see them. We are seen probably on a very same manner. Overlooking the very essence of friendship and love, we are enjoying the superficial benefits of companionship. Sometimes, what matters to us are just things that would benefit us for a moment. We don’t care for things that last. To value an unseen is quite expensive… we feel it’s too high to pay a price. We want to enjoy its benefits but we prefer to remember things with regrets. We console ourselves by mumbling such "If only i…, i should  have…" phrases.

We see people. We meet new acquaintances. We select to ourselves what they should be to us… that would maximize our need of them. If their need is greater than ours, we dump the man.

Truly its quite hard to carry someone’s burden. We do know that we have our own struggles. To each his own. And so we go as far as pleasing ourselves and stop short extending a hand when it is supposed to be our turn. Though we found some people doing more, we ridicule them. We find the things they do such a waste.. they’re such a foolish victim of their own inability to reach the height of your intellectual capacity.

But seeing more and looking deeper, there’s something innate in them that we don’t have.  They’re blessed, rich, and happier than we are. When the storms of life hit to the extreme, these people stay calm when we can’t. We’re left wondering how and why.

The most essential in life are things that can’t be heard in the classrooms or lectures. It is something that can’t be read from the pages of life’s manual nor scanned in the works of great men, neither something than can be observed from a distance with our own two eyes.

It can only be learned by living it out.

“without vision, people perish”

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” – Proverbs 29:18

Vision here means revelation… teaching… preaching. God’s people must always be guided by His Word, His wisdom… No ifs – no buts, else they will perish.

Nothing comes good to people, or group of people without a vision. They simply lost themselves to failure. Vision is not a written statement like that posted on our corporate walls, or classrooms. It is something we look forward to achieve, to fulfill… to complete.  It is that spirit that drives the football team, the mission crusades, the young people’s camp, the local church, and even a small bible study group.

Recently, i received complain from a local church’ youth group of their inactivity and lack of support from the church herself. i can feel, and do share with their frustration. They want something to stir up their fellowship and find satisfaction on the things they do, yet they find themselves wading on the high seas with no visible island on sight.

Last year, i set up with them an order of activities for them to accomplish. We organized small groups of five and giving each group different task and time table to carry out the same. Personal relationship and unity were emphasized and Christ-centeredness and Bible-based fellowship must always be in focus. No compromise. They re-started their Sunday school and group fellowship every Sunday afternoon. Planned to attend inter-church fellowship and generate funds to support their activities. The goal then was to produce leaders from that 15-member young people of a 70-year old church. Everything goes smoothly and everybody was so excited in the new avenue of growing in the Lord. They have things to do, goals to meet and well-planned activities.  But then, it was interrupted by people who says they weren’t doing things right. Then those same people are changing things, stopping the program, stopping the scheduled activities. They said that a cell group meeting on member’s houses is too complex for the small group to handle and thus, they have to start first inside the church premises. I thought then that these people are doing’ things right. Trusting their wisdom, the group let go of the original plan and submit to that new rules. But it was just a start of a suppression-like strategy. All activities were being scrutinized. Funds generated were getting their attention. To the point that the weekly YP (Young People) sunday school was cancelled because the YP "weren’t learning", and "contributes nothing".

It was almost a year ago, since the previous road map was cancelled. And so the YP find their selves lost again. Having no vision, they’re losing confidence. They do not know where they’re going to and if they’re still on the right track.

In the Bible, we have a profile of our past and future. It is the future that gives us hope, and sense of value. We want to know as much as possible everything about the future.  We became disappointed and discouraged when we’re lost to ourselves. We don’t want to wander in the dark. We want security… we want to feel certain of where we are heading to. People, who lost hope, fell dead to themselves. They became lifeless individuals incapable of deciding for themselves.  They soak themselves in the dark corner awaiting no rescue. To them, it is the end.

Vision must be administered to and by individuals to their own selves. You have to rise up from being dung. Find your real purpose. Identify yourself. Acknowledge your weakness, beef up your gifts. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Am telling you, you’ll just end up living in fear. Fear that people might discover the real you and might not like you. Dishonesty to others much more to your self always creates fear. Be the real you. Confront your infirmities, wage war against your wrongs. Focus on your gift. Enhance it. Pursue it with excellence. 

Vision-controlled people are contagious. They inspire people and change the community, sometimes unknown and unnoticed. How many of us tell of people who inspired us without them knowing? Everyone have their own story to tell and have individuals in their mind that molded them in some way, to what they are now. We ourselves are product of people we look up to. People who for us, were succesfull, and worth emulating to. Unknowingly, we do the same to our friends, to a guy or girl next door. And most of the time, we are distinguished not on the things we say but on how we live the things we say.  Without those people who inspired us and teached us, we are a part less than what we are. And if we try to live exclusively on our own? – - – we’re nothing but -again- dung… wasted.

No one can appreciate the height of a mountain without experiencing first the hardship of climbing up. To appreciate the level of your growth, you either have to come down from where you are or go up to the next level. You can’t just settle from where you are, else you will fall. You were given a day to grow and draw knowledge from it, not to be stagnant and ignore its blessing. The blessing of tomorrow is another blessing. Each day has its own gift to you. Grab it. Live with it.

We can only enjoy our day to day lives if we are vision-powered people. Christians have their own sure guide to be certain of their daily journey. They have a continuous lamp under their feet, and have a consistent light in their path. And not only that they’re sure of every step they take, they are also confident where they’re heading to… they are in transit to their real home. They never back off from looking unto Jesus, the author and the finisher of their faith.

Now that is vision.

thanks to mic caldo for the topic

patience as a virtue

i have a lot of desire, and even since am a child, wished to change a lot of things. I tried once to make a floral garden in front of our house and designed a landscape in my memory, but wasn’t able to finish because of impatience. I find transporting soil from the backyard so slow and tiresome. I feel i’ve exerted enough effort and drained my strength already, yet the soil i brough wasn’t enough to make an elevation i desired. I want to finish the task though, so i hurriedly put on rocks and began planting.
The result? lousy round of stones and discolored land surface.

There’s a time i want to have a vegetable garden at our backyards. I began tilling the land. After digging up a certain area, i began making the soil finer by removing peebles and other undesirable elements. I even use a net to filter out the peebles. I want that perfect yet halfway, i stopped. A day is not enough and i began planting veg stems. A week later, another lousy garden was formed at our backyard.

One day, i make a fishpond besides our house… i like colored fish then. For a week, i enjoyed gazing at the fishes, feeding them by digging worms and cutting it into small pieces and putting some plant inside. Cheap but a real entertainment for me. Then i noticed some leak and decided to place some almagra-like material (fine cement-like material) to prevent seepage. I know i shoud have wait another day to make sure it is dry before returning the fishes. But then, i find it hard already in the afternoon, so i put back the fishes and the turtle that had been with me for two years.

The result? hardened fishes and turtle in the morning. I am on my third year in high school then. I am so disappointed that i stayed at our backyard the whole day, gazing at the area where i bury my beloved turtle and fishes. I broke the fish pond and never build one again.

Through out those years, i should have learned enough already about patience. More than 10 years, i’m still amazed the value of patience, with no full appreciation of its value. Everyday i’m still wondering if i learned enough, only to find myself being the old impatient me.

God created the heavens and the earth for 6 days, waited forty days and forty night before overflowing the earth with water.
Jesus waited 30 years before he began his public ministry. waited 3 and a half years before facing pilate and be scourged for the sins you and i have done.
He endured the last 12 hours of his life as an eternity of suffering, spent a lengthy 3 agonizing hours at the cross, feeling the thousand nerve cells shouting pain in his head, hand and in his feet.

There’s no short cut in doing a perfect task. Everything must respect and follow the process religiously. For until we will learn to submit ourselves to order, we’re producing nothing but fake products and false outputs.

at 6:30am, May 6,2005 at tried taking this pic using the night mode of my mobile fon. It’s still dark and i have to be still to take a good shot.  I must be patient and not be destructed by passing cars and people who’s wonderin’ what am doing at that bus stop . i think i gave pic the justice she deserves. next time, i’ll use the real cam in taking pics..

Patience can’t be learned in a minute or an hour. It must be lived out.

on bullying

i can imagine a grade 4 pupil laughing out loud on a first grader. he thought knowing the four fundamentals of math makes him a math genius already. But underestimating one’s capacity can never add an ounce to what you already knew, making it senseless and by no way valuable.

-

Posted – 5/22/2003 9:55:00 PM